the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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