just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
