I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
if only i could text you this smell
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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