wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
