Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
