even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
