Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
