i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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