The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
