I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
