do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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