Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
