some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
