shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I deserve this hangover.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
