went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize