yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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