Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
