I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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