she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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