Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just threw up on my dentist
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
