just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i drank out of a bidet.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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