Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
