did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
