before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
