we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
