Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize