I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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