I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
