3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
