erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
