we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
