you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize