i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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