He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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