all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
