Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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