i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
