I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
