Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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