Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
