when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
