the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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