he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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