Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize