You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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