i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
