you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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