I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
