Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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