You work out of a Hotel?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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