I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i think my mom watched the whole time
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
