You made me cry and you don't even care
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
