the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
