Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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