i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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