grandma shit on top of the toilet
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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