so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
