she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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