Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
