Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
