saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
